gone

He set the bar high. I let you play an effortless game of Limbo while you still stand tall. But when you lay down, my memory becomes numb. Then all other senses are intensified. You leave stains of your scent with no promise of when you'll return. Your heart's insecurities bleed through your pocket protector before you even got the chance to finish writing down all the reasons why this won't work. I wonder why it even matters after I remind myself: You're here because he's not. And moving on is nothing short of back-tracking.

#NeverForget

Before you took my breath away, you took my breath away. Always at a loss for words around you. I thought I found you. Until you lost me.

Before you choked me up, your smile had me choked up... Stumbling over the right words to say. So afraid to look like a fool but you made a fool of me.

So naïve, thinking women envied me. What I thought were fake smiles really turned out to be genuine. Those smiles were noting but silent laughs worn by the women you put in front of me and let me shake hands with. I dug myself out of silence and finally found a voice. My choice to use it came with consequences and plenty of backlash.

Love taps turned into open-handed slaps. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why I was fighting for my life. You said you'd give your life.

Warm hugs turned into drugs. The pain meds were never quite enough to rid me of the headache that you bring. Or the wounds that sting.

I could call my Daddy to kiss it like he used to when I was a little girl. But those two S's might turn to two L's. And a lost life isn't what I'm looking for. Never been the type to make too much of a scene so I stay quiet. But enough is enough when you can no longer hide it.

So now, you try to get me to think of the good times. And you wonder if I ever reminisce. Well, the answer is YES!

I'll never forget! I'll always remember... After you took my breath away, you took my breath away. 

cloud 9

Looking down, afraid to fall because I have it made up in my head that I know they won't catch me: they never do. I'll sink right through, as if it never really existed. It's science, I know it. But the excitement of "what if...?" is too much to bear. From here, they look so delicate. Safe and inviting.

I close my eyes, caught up in the moment, and I slip. Enjoying the thrill, but my heart is racing. Because I know they won't catch me: they never do.

My fall comes to a quick stop. But I'm taken back because it didn't end like the rest. I'm not splattered all over the pavement and left to clean up the mess. Instead, I feel comfort, fitting into a space that was made just for me. The cloud formed to my body like memory foam, and didn't let me sink through. 

I open my eyes in anxious confusion. I look up from his arms, and he smiles.