check, please!

Are you married? You don't have any kids yet? Why not? How old are you again? If I had a dollar for ever time.... You know how the saying goes. 

On my quest to uncover all of the reasons society won't validate my womanhood without a ring on my finger and a dent in my womb, I had to give myself a reality check. In actuality, I'm never really bothered by it. Because my life is my own. But nobody ever asks if you're happy. Or if you've found your purpose. Or if you're following your dreams. Because apparently, none of that matters!

Husband? CHECK!

Kids? CHECK!

House? CHECK!

But does it have a white picket fence, though?

Somehow, those are the only ways to have a fulfilling life experience. As if life is this recipe that will never be quite right if you forget any of these ingredients at the grocery store. I've met women whose number one aspiration was to get a ring on their finger. No matter how chaotic the relationship is. Because in their subconscious minds, this shows the world that they are worthy of someone's "love" forever. That ring is not always what its cracked up to be; trust me. But I've grown to learn that people are far more concerned with the way things LOOK than with the way things ARE. We exert more energy into looking like we have it all together, instead of actually having it all together. 

In a recent conversation with an old friend, we discussed our love lives. I told him that I was interested in someone but assured him that it was still very fresh. And he asked me something that nobody EVER asks. You mention a person in your life and the very first thing you get asked is, "So what does he/she do?" And this is never an attempt to figure out what type of person they are, or what their interests are. It's a backhanded way to guesstimate how much money this person makes. Because *sarcastic font* there's no way you'd ever be compatible with anyone that makes anything under x-amount of dollars per year............ It's funny because when you meet people they ask YOU the very same question. And not to get to know you. But in order to guesstimate how much money you make... in comparison to them. *sigh* I digress. But back to my friend... Before he asked ANYTHING, he asked, "Has he made you laugh yet?" I could have jumped through the phone just to hug him that day. For being genuinely concerned with whether or not I had a smile on my face. My emotional happiness, and not some weird checklist.

It's refreshing to know that the people I keep close are interested in the intangible things that are the most important. I'm not quite sure where I'd be, mentally, if I stressed myself out over a list that strangers want me to keep.