find peace in solitude — jessica kincy

So often, we confuse being alone with being lonely. Which should actually be far from the truth. I've seen so many people, both men and women alike, rush into relationships when most times, their foot is only halfway out the door from their last situation. So afraid of being "lonely."

I think that we do ourselves a disservice by not spending time alone. Learn who you are without someone next to you. It's so easy to get caught up in fitting into someone else's life, and to lose yourself. So when we are so anxious to bounce around in different peoples' lives, we become more and more of what we think will fit best with each different one. Never giving ourselves time to just be US. Then we get confused when these situations don't work out. Never having realized that it can be a strenuous task for someone to get to know us, if we don't truly know ourselves.

I think that time is the most valuable thing that you can give to a person. So why do we rush to spend our time with strangers, and neglect spending time with the most valuable person? Get to know YOU. If we get too hung up on a fear of being alone, we will find ourselves settling with indivuals that don't truly even make us happy. Looking past red flags or little deal breakers that we have etched in our minds. It's almost a subconscious way of silently saying, "Do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't involve leaving me." And who really wants that? Unfortunately we, as women, have it the worst. We have this little imaginary biological clock that causes us to force things where they don't fit, because we want to get this show on the road. I can't remember where I heard this quote, but it goes, "Sometimes when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." Well, when we want so badly to just have someone to be able to say that we have someone... we run into that very problem: trying to make someone into our Prince Charming (when they're not) every single time. Everyone who shows you attention doesn't necessarily deserve your time. And it's not fair to use someone to fill your void.

So, I encourage you to pump your breaks. And take a break. Spend some time alone. Learn you, and fall in love. Learn to enjoy your own company. Because if you don't even like being with you, what makes you think someone else will? There's a headache that comes with always trying to fit into someone else's world when you don't know who you are. Find peace in solitude. And never be anxious enough to settle.